It happened without warning, without even a hint of leading up to it. One morning, we’re in my son’s room, getting ready for the day. Diaper change, pick out clothes, put on clothes, business as usual. Right after slipping his shirt over his head and his arms sliding through the sleeves, he turns to my wife and says, “Trenton loves mommy,” and gives her a hug. Then he turns to me, gives me a hug, and for the first time says “Trenton loves Daddy.”

Time STOPS. The world shifts. My heart explodes into a million technicolor pieces. There isn’t enough time to think, cry, or even understand the implications of this. I’ve told him I loved him literally every day of his life and always wondered when this day would come. Sometimes I’ve desperately wanted him to say it, to know what he’s thinking and feeling, to see that he’s put it together. But nothing prepared me for it. Just like when he first said “Dada”, this is another memory forever etched into my heart and mind. All I could do is whisper back, “I love you too”.

It wasn’t a one-time random occurrence, either. Every so often he’ll say it, and lately it’s been even better – “I love you Daddy”.

Thanks baby boy, I love you too.

My Dearest Baby Boy,

Well, you’re no longer a baby anymore. You’re a 2-year-old boy who’s discovering the wide, wide world waiting for him. It’s been so wonderful watching you grow this past year. I see amazement, wonder, curiosity, passion, kindness, fearlessness, and an unstoppable desire to learn. I love watching you figure things out, never giving up but also never afraid to ask for help. I can already see signs of the impact you will have on the world, and I believe it will be big. You are a human like no other; I see so much in you that I wish everyone had.

I love every minute we spend together, from the mundane diaper changes to the tickles, raspberries, and songs we sing. Words cannot express how incredibly proud of you I am. You’re tackling this world head-on and mastering skills at a breakneck pace. Let’s keep it going, and know that I will be with you every step of the way.

I love you, no matter what. Happy Birthday.

My Beautiful Boy,

Eleven months. I’m really not sure how this much time has passed, but I can definitely say it’s been a lot of fun. This past month has been especially fun as you’ve blessed us with the gift of your extra happy personality. You’re charming, smiling, fearless, happy-go-lucky self is just incredible to watch. I live vicariously through you as you explore your world with reckless abandon. Even then, your gift is still wanting to share your discoveries with us. I will never get tired of hearing you talk, realizing there is no limit to the words and thoughts you can say. I will never tire of seeing your eyes light up when you recognize me from a distance, along with the mile-wide smile that comes with it. I will definitely never get tired of your curiosity and excitement for new foods, especially unique flavors like Indian food, salmon, and avocado.

We’ve spent a lot of time together this past month, and I can’t get over the fact that no matter how much I love you one day my heart has room for even more love the next. What I love even more is knowing how many exciting things are still to come. I’m ready; let’s turn it up past 11.

I love you.

My Darling Boy,

Today you are 10 months old. Double digits! As per usual, it’s been another month too incredible for words. You’re crawling at full speed, standing every chance you get, playing and celebrating music with us, and you’ve got almost 8 teeth come through! What’s most astonishing to me is the continued strengthening of our bond as father and son. We play, we eat, we laugh, we “talk”, and we even go to sleep together now. I’ve honestly been terrified for quite some time that I would never be able to get you to sleep; that you would keep looking over your shoulder for mommy to come in the room. But we’ve found our own way to get to sleep, no fuss required. To feel you relax and fall asleep in my arms, to feel you nuzzle up close to me and hear that deep sigh of resignation, of exhaustion, of comfort and security, there isn’t much that tops that. It’s one of the few times I can actually live in the moment and I have you to thank for that. My heart, constantly filled to capacity with love for you, expands daily. All it takes is that smile, those eyes, a shimmy and screech of excitement, and I know I’m home. “Da da” will eventually mean me, which will eventually morph into “Daddy”. Even though I don’t want you to grow up just yet, I can’t wait.

I love you.

My Darling Boy,

You’ve had a busy month! As we move past your ninth month in this world you’ve absolutely crushed life, smashing full speed into it with no fear. You’re crawling, speaking, and expressing yourself in ways I wasn’t prepared for (in a good way). I can’t believe how fast you’ve grown up, but I’m even more excited for the future as every day passes. It’s amazing how fascinated you are with everything and how eagerly you’re exploring your world. Your eyes sparkle as you figure out your toys. Even this simplest of toys holds your attention providing hours of entertainment. It’s so easy to get lost in your world and be completely absorbed in whatever you are doing. Time ceases to exist when it’s just you and I, bonding and having fun.

And the speech? I could listen to you talk for hours. There have been times in the car that I’ve shut off the radio because what you have to say has always been more interesting and satisfying than any song on the stereo. Even if the words aren’t associative yet, I can see in your eyes and hear in your voice your expression of complete thoughts.

Keep talking, my son, and you can rest assured that I will always be here to listen.

I love you.

My Beautiful Boy,

The last month has been an incredible ride. Every time I blink I feel like you grow more, develop more, learn more. You’re now eight months old with 2 teeth, the ability to pull yourself up, and what seems like mere seconds away from crawling around the entire house. Your energy is unparalleled, and while exhausting for both me and your mom, at the same time just amazing and astounding. My challenge now is to keep up with you! I wish I had more to say, but in all honesty this month was a complete blur. They say time accelerates when you have children and they were most definitely NOT kidding. Part of me wants you to stay little forever, but another part of me realizes that you are destined for great things in this world and that you must continue to grow to reach your full potential.

As always I’m here to help you, guide you, laugh with you, cry with you, share in both your victories and your defeats. Please keep me humble and honest if my priorities ever start to drift away from our family.

I love you.