To My Youngest Daughter and Last Child,

It’s been an entire year since you first decided to join us Earthside. On one hand that’s nearly impossible to comprehend, but on the other hand it’s exactly where you’re supposed to be. You’re walking now. WALKING. Ever so eager to join your siblings in their fun, but also because you’re so keen on exploring everything about your world! Even though I’ve been through these developmental stages twice before, your approach to things is so different that it’s almost like a brand new experience. And since it is a brand new experience for you I’m amazed and delighted as you discover all the things. As ravenous as you are to move about and find your place here you are also balanced with a sense of joy and contentment. It’s as if you’re telling us “Things are okay here. I am safe and loved here and that’s all I need.” And given the absolute chaos that surrounds the walls of our home it’s nice to have a soothing reminder that at least we are okay. I can’t think of a better way to experience my last firsts with you, proving once again that you are the exact right person to come into our lives at precisely the right time.

I love you.

My Daring, Darling Daughter,

Today you are two years old. TWO!! And what a wonderful two years it has been. You have worked so, so hard to be seen and heard in this world. We are all the better for it because this world is and always will be better having seen and heard you. You are strong. Bold. Focused. Determined. Self-assured. Uncompromising. Fierce. Kind. Caring. Loving. A truly remarkable whirlwind of a human set on accomplishing things in your own way and on your own time. That’s the way it’s always been for you, and it’s been such an unexplainable joy watching you push through so much chaos and adversity only to be victorious Every. Single. Time. 

I can see so much potential in you; I stand in awe every time I think about it. The world truly isn’t ready for you and may never be. Because the world as it stands now does not know what to do with a light as bright and strong as yours. And that’s perfectly fine, because it will never be about what the world does to you, but what you do to and for the world. 

Go forth, my daughter, and conquer in the name of love and light. Be the person this world cannot tame. Bend reality to your will for the betterment of all humanity. Demand to be seen and heard, never backing down from what you know is right. But first, let’s have some cake and celebrate.

I love you.

My Darling Son,

Today you are seven years old. The past year has brought challenges that no one could have foreseen and that you certainly do not deserve, but yet you stand tall, bright, and proud. A shining example of what humanity can and should be, you are kind, caring, loving, creative, intelligent, imaginative, empathetic, sincere, determined, hopeful, and happy. The list goes on longer than eternity but the fact remains that I am SO proud of you and SO honored to be your father.

I have watched you grow into someone who will make this world far better for everyone than I would have ever thought possible. I know this because you already have such an enormous impact on the small scale of our family. You are unquestionably the best and most perfect big brother that your sister could ever ask for. Your mere presence lights up the hearts and minds of everyone you meet, instantly making the room brighter. And your unflinching optimism in the face of the darkness of the present moment reveals glimpses of your softness and strength.

Even though I know the world will not always be kind to you – and in many ways it has already shown this – I know you have what it takes to persevere while cherishing and nurturing the softness and light within you that makes you whole. And if you ever start to feel that light dim or that softness grow cold, just know all you have to do is turn back toward me. I will hold you in my arms and remind you of who you truly are. 

If you keep one thing with you always please let it be this: Never EVER lose these parts of yourself. They are the foundations of love for yourself and for all of humanity, and you hold them in such vast and rare amounts that will carry you to the highest of places and be your guiding lights when you think you’ve lost your way. Be you, and be no one else.

I love you.

My Darling Boy,

What. A. Year. Honestly I can’t even being to describe in words what an awe-inspiring year it’s been watching you grow, but this humble letter will at least attempt to capture it as best I can. There have been so many new and wonderful developments that’s not possible to remember them all, but you’ve blossomed into this capable, confident, curious, courageous, and compassionate young human. You lead with an incredibly strong desire to learn, to understand, and most importantly, to feel. And not just feel for yourself, but feel for others. To be with others. If you ever read this, please, please don’t lose that. Or if you’ve lost it by the time you read this, please do whatever it takes to get it back. I will do everything I possibly can to nurture that empathy as it will be one of the most valuable guiding forces in your life. That force combined with your innate curiosity and love of learning will be nearly all you need to achieve great things. And make no mistake, you are destined for greatness, whatever that looks like to you.

So many wonderful moments this year. Too many to count. From your vivid imagination (stuffed animal characters) to your inventor’s drive (LEGO, recyclable materials, sock puppets, literally anything you can get your hands on) to your musical heartbeat (writing songs, your beautiful voice, the rhythm of your soul), to the persistent hard work of learning new skills like ballet, climbing trees, hiking mountains, and swimming; there hasn’t been a single thing you’ve wanted to do that you couldn’t do.

And the selflessness! Together you and I have put in so much work to make our community a better place. You’ve rung doorbells in the searing summer heat for some of the best political candidates I’ve ever met. You’ve marched in solidarity with our LBGTQIA+ friends. You’ve stood with me in the pouring rain to ensure that immigrant families stay together. You’ve literally faced down an anti-choice protester, proudly proclaiming with conviction that you “stand with Planned Parenthood”. And all of this at FOUR. YEARS. OLD. I cannot adequately capture the deep well of gratitude, humility, pride, and joy that I feel knowing that I could share these experiences with you and also see how they’ve added so much knowledge and depth to your character. You’re not only building your own world; you’re making it so much better for everyone else.

And through all of it you’ve never once lost sight of humility and gratitude. And you captured that perfectly in our last exchange just before bed on the eve of your birthday:

Me: “When you wake up you’re going to be five!”
You: “I can’t thank you enough.”

No, my son, I can’t thank you enough.

I love you.

My Baby Boy,

What a year. I know every year is different, but this year has been an indescribable ride. You’ve grown and changed so much it’s nearly impossible to put to words, but I’ll try and at least cover the highlights. You’ve rolled with me on some very big life changes – living half the year in the Netherlands, starting pre-school TWICE (once in Dutch even!!), seeing some of your Swedish cousins for the very first time, riding your bike everywhere, creating and singing your very first song, earning your “stripes” in the bathroom (including stops on the side of the highway in Switzerland, Italy, and the Netherlands!), and my personal favorite – communication. You are so articulate in telling me what you want and what you don’t want. And sometimes that leads to battles.

Oh, the battles, my son. Things haven’t been all roses, and there’s been a lot of tears shed this past year by both you and me. We’re learning in this together, and I know I still have a lot of work to do, so thank you for growing with me, being patient with me, and forgiving me for my mistakes. There are few things better than a post-battle hug through a light fog of tears. Promise me that no matter what happens we will always come back together like this. Your spirit is so strong, bright, and resilent that in a few ways I’m envious. I absolutely want you to carry that spirit with you for your entire life, and from what I can see the fire in your heart grows bigger every day.

You really are going to do great things one day, Trenton. It’s impossible to know right now what those things are, but with the pure joy and passion you have for life your possibilities are endless.

Happy Birthday, and I love you.